5 A Day

Unexpected bit of comedy at the supermarket this evening. Scanning my items at the self-service checkout and I came to the lettuce I'd picked up - no label so I push for produce by weight... flip through lists for a while finding no mention of lettuces.


At this point I flash my best "something's gone wrong" smile at the friendly young shop assistant monitoring the self-service lines, and she wanders over to help. We'll call her Belinda because I'm reasonably certain that wasn't her name.

Patrick: Um, there's no label on this and I can't find it in the lists by weight.
Belinda: Oh...
Patrick: Have I maybe picked one up without a barcode?
Belinda: Yes, probably [takes lettuce] I'll get another. [toddles off in direction of produce aisle]
Belinda: [returning with lettuce in one hand and a green cabbage in the other] um... is this it?
Patrick: No, that's a green cabbage.
Belinda: Oh... [ponders] do you think it might be more expensive?
Patrick: [stifling giggles] maybe... but more importantly, it's a cabbage not a lettuce.
Belinda: [Looks despairing] Oh... *sigh* I don't even know where they are!
Patrick: That's OK, I do, shall i go get another and you keep an eye on the till?
Belinda: [Beaming with relief] Yes! [pushes both offending alien green items into my hands in the manner of a toddler who can't make their toy work]


I should be appalled that she didn't recognise the difference between a lettuce and a cabbage, but I'm too tickled by the whole thing.